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Notes on
Etiquette and Customs in the United States
Invitations
Meals in the U.S.
Determining Age
Other Notes of Interest
Invitations
If you are invited to a party or to someone's home for a meal, you may
inquire as to whether the occasion is "formal" or
"casual." Usually, when this type of affair is formal it suggests
a suit and neck tie for the gentleman and dress with nylons and heels or
nice trousers <or pants> for the lady. When such an invitation is casual,
the guest will most likely be expected to wear jeans, perhaps a sport
jacket, and jeans or a simple skirt and blouse for the lady.
True formal occasions are generally heralded by engraved invitations
received in the post <or mail>. These may say either "formal" or
"black tie." To a formal party or celebration such as a wedding or a
dinner, a gentleman may wear a suit and tie, however, a tuxedo is
preferable. To a black-tie affair, the gentleman should wear a tuxedo. These
may be rented <or hired> from formal shops. The lady should wear a cocktail
dress or evening gown to either of these events. In most instances these
"rules" are being bent and broken and pushed to their limits by
younger generations and adventurous designers.
A cultural note : Traditional Indian attire would be not only acceptable, but
most likely quite a hit at any social gathering where you wish to wear it or
if you are in doubt about the appropriate western attire!
"R.S.V.P." re'spondez s'il vous plait <French> on an
invitation requires a response as to whether or not you plan to accept the
invitation and attend the event. "Regrets Only" on an invitation means that
you need only inform the host or hostess if you plan NOT to
attend.
It is the usual custom when going to someone's home for dinner to bring
flowers or a bottle of wine to your host or hostess. You might consider one
of the small items you brought from India for just this sort of occasion!
If it is a birthday party, bridal or baby shower, or an engagement party, you
will be expected to bring a gift, unless expressly told "no
gifts." Be forewarned that it is the custom in the States to open a
gift in the presence of the giver and to express one's appreciation and
delight immediately. It is still considered appropriate to send a thank you
card in the mail (eMails are NOT an acceptable alternative) when
someone gives you a gift. Sadly, this is a rule of etiquette
followed by a dwindling few in the U.S., but it is still the
proper thing to do.
If you don't usually cook, learn one specialty which you can prepare for
your new American friends or take to a "pot luck" or
"covered-dish" supper. These are meals common in the U.S. where
everyone invited is expected to bring one dish, thus defraying the work and
expense from any one person. Since these social gatherings are common here,
you should not take offense if an American friend shows up for your dinner
party with an appetizer or dessert -- while we do not condone this, it is
most likely a gesture from the heart.
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Meals in the U.S.
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Breakfast, the morning meal
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Lunch, the noon meal
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Dinner, the evening meal
Exceptions to this are :
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Brunch
is a late and large morning meal which supersedes the need for the noon
meal. Brunch is commonly served on Sundays <sometimes on Saturdays> for
guests.
-
Some
parts of the country, especially farming communities, have the large
meal in the middle of the day. In this case, lunch becomes dinner and
the evening meal becomes supper.
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Supper
may also be a late night, heavy snack or light meal - after the
theatre, for example.
Tea is not customarily observed in the U.S.
While coffee is more often the beverage of choice <especially in all its
pseudo-European variations, such as cappuccino, latte, and espresso>, it
is not enjoyed with the same ceremony and celebration as tea in India or the
U.K. You may find, however, that your American friends will welcome an
invitation to tea - so much more civil than the rushed, frenetic schedules
they follow. Nonetheless, they may prefer to drink their beloved coffee.
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Determining Age
Age
in the U.S. is figured thus; age one is one year after birth, age two is
two years after birth, etc. So one born in 1958 would be 40 years old on
his/her birthday in 1998.
In
the U.S. many businesses and amusements charge less for children and Senior
Citizens. Children may receive these reduced rates up to age 3, or age
12, or age 18, or some other point at the discretion of the business
offering the service or entertainment. For legal purposes, a child is
considered an adult at age 18, though in cases such as insurance coverage
for a child in college, there are exceptions made to this rule. The age at which someone becomes considered a Senior
Citizen is
usually between 60 and 65 though sometimes younger and sometimes older.
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Other Notes of Interest
In
India one drives on the LEFT.
In the U.S. one drives on the RIGHT.
Date
format in India is <day/month/year>.
Date format in the U.S. is <month/day/year>
In
the U.S. trash is paper and other non-decaying debris whereas garbage is
compost.
In
India, you might hire a car to drive.
In the U.S. you would RENT a car
to drive yourself, but you might HIRE someone to drive you.
Centigrade
is the Indian temperature reading.
Fahrenheit is the U.S. temperature
reading.
In
India distance is measured in kilometers.
In the U.S. distance is
measured in miles.
In
the U.S. pickles usually refer to cucumbers in brine or vinegar, although
there are other pickled fruits or vegetables as well. Some pickles are sweet,
and some
sour or tart.
If
you have a "season ticket" in the States, it is usually to all
the baseball games or all the opera performances or theatre events, etc.
You have bought a "pass" <usually a month at a time> if you
are not charged each time you board the public transportation system.
It
is the "muffler" on your car's exhaust system which enables it
to run so quietly. A "silencer" is used to quiet the sound of
a gun. If you inquire about buying a silencer, or using one, you could
find yourself being questioned by the authorities <police, etc.>!
In
India you might ask, "When shall I join duty?"
In the U.S.
you would ask, "When shall I report for work?"
In
the U.S. a shower is when the water comes from the shower head above
you. You may be standing in a tub or in a smaller space designed
specifically for showers. <There are also gyms and locker rooms with a
row of shower heads in a large space to accommodate many people at one
time.> A bath is when one fills the tub with water <and often oils
or bubbles> and sits in the water to bathe.
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